how to be a movie snob

My first installment in…

“Rules for Independent Thinking and Happy Living”  *dun da daaaa*

Never see a movie that doesn’t interest you even if (sometimes especially if) “Everyone” has seen it. “Everyone” has terrible taste and we all know it. Am I generalizing too much?  well… yes.  But, it’s 2 hours you’ll never get back!  I’ve been dragged into the theater enough times to testify. 

However, if “EVERYONE” is going to be talking about the movie “EVERYWHERE,” then you should learn a few simple tricks for socializing.  Here are your options:

  • Watch the trailer, read a synopsis and two reviews from different perspectives. Make an educated comment and change the subject.
  • Say simply, “Sci-fi has just never been my thing” or “I’ve never been a fan of movies with overly happy endings” or “If I wanted to hear that much swearing and see partial nudity, I’d just park in my neighbor’s driveway and lean on the horn at 2 a.m.” Then, change the subject or listen politely to the defense. 
  • Say, “Oh yeah.  I saw the first one. What number are they on now?”
  • Say, “After seeing that film, tell me your insights on the theological presuppositions of the screenwriter.”  Then, be prepared for your conversation partner to excuse himself to the restroom. 
  • Gag violently.  
  • Smile and nod.  Repeat indefinitely.  Don’t lock your eyes and ask at least two questions regarding the plot or special effects. 

Upon posting this, I realize that I will never be invited to watch a movie again.  uh. Hey guys?  I like Batman movies.  Can we still be friends?  

Stay tuned for next week’s installment in the series: “Excuses for Avoiding Social Athletics” 

Current recommended reading: “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

:)

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