I’ve always been a new year’s resolution person. A new calendar is like a new start. “This year will be different. This year, I’ll make progress. This year, I’ll never lose my keys!”
I love lists and goal setting and am generally well caffeinated over the holidays, so my resolutions in the past have been pretty lofty.
- Keep my room clean
- Be nice
- Never get behind on the bookkeeping at work ever, ever again
- Learn to play 5 instruments and speak 3 languages
- Stop tripping over things and running into walls
You know… that kind of impossible stuff that goes out the window by the third week of January.
While in college, I recognized my workaholic tendencies and for the last few years, my only resolution was to “have more fun.” My dear grandmother, (from whom I inherited list-addiction), is a big fan of self-improvement and thought I had become nearly reprobate when I informed her of my new resolve.
The thing about having workaholic tendencies is… when the books aren’t done and your homework is overdue, you CAN’T “have more fun.” It just doesn’t work. Going to parties and feeling guilty the whole time is awful. Likewise, working 65 hours a week and missing LIFE with people you love is the worst feeling in the world. Resolutions = more guilt. Always letting someone down. Always feeling that you’re not meeting expectations… especially your own. Failure.
And yet… should I lower my expectations? Should I not shoot for the stars and try to be the heroine? Disney will be so disappointed in me. No one will think I’m amazing. *sigh*
I’m trying something new this year. I am not resolving to get published, write thank-you notes, practice the piano every day, or even to take a real vacation. But I’m still making lists. It’s in my blood.
I’m making a good sized “stop-doing” list. I’m making a “10 people I never want to lose” list. I’m making a “big dreams and ideas” list. I’m setting actual realistic work hours and I’m taking weekends off. So there. Leave a message after the beep, world. I might call you back.
Resolved: To create space in my life for reflection, for study, for spontaneity, and for people I love. I will be ruthless in this pursuit.
What are your resolutions?